So, you want me to post, eh?
Okay okay, I'll post, I'll post! :-)

Well, fall is once again here which brings the monkeybottoms' family into another cycle of fruit flies. Ah, what a magical time of year this is! How I love it! Those teeny tiny wings, the little beady eyes, the smell of KONK, the not being able to get rid of the little bastards. It's all so wondrous.

We've been fighting the losing battle for a bit now thanks to a lovely bunch of bananas. That's the thanks I get for trying to force some potassium into the girls, I suppose. Thanks for being a good mother, monkeybottoms! Thanks for NOTHING. I swear to god, these fruit flies are going to be the end of me. Kevin is, of course, grimly carrying on with the struggle by being all anal and demanding that there is never a hint of garbage in the can at night and telling us to rinse our dishes and all sorts of crazy stuff. Then he sprays the KONK. I super hate that smell now. Errrgh.

Of course we go to sleep and get up in the morning and go to work and when I get back I discover that one of the twins has left a half-eaten bowl of Cheerios on the kitchen table and the fruit flies are having a jamboree in it. Seriously, a milky bowl of Cheerios is like a friggin fruit fly fertility clinic. Sometimes I forget something too, like the orange sucker from Halloween. I was entertaining myself by letting the dogs lick it on and off throughout the evening while I read my latest book. Whoops! Then I blame it on the girls. Hehehehe.

Hey, remember when I said I hated the smell of KONK? Guess what? I found something that smells worse, like SKUNK. Or, even worse than that, skunk that was sprayed right in your dog's FACE. Yes, poor little Blue got sprayed right in front of our steps. The bratty skunk was looking for garbage. I TOLD Kevin that our dogs didn't eat the neighbour's garbage yesterday but no, he blamed them and cleaned it up. Haha! Chump!

Poor little Blue though. She was so sad. Her little eyes were red and she ended up throwing up twice. Buddy got some on him too, but not nearly as bad. I Googled for a recipe and Kevin and I ran to Shopper's Drug Mart for peroxide, baking soda and dish soap. Kevin insisted on apologizing to EVERY PERSON IN THE STORE for the way we smelled. Thanks Kev. Please, bring more attention to us. But I guess I liked it better than having them all talk about how much we reeked and what a bunch of freakazoids we were and god, why don't they take a BATH?

Blue was so sad she just crawled right into the tub when I told her to, and then she just stood there while I rubbed the mixture into her fur. I wiped her eyes with water a lot and she really seemed to like it. They felt hot, and so did her mouth. But she wasn't teary and they weren't really red anymore, so that was a good sign. Then for good measure she got a dump of tomato juice. I don't think it did much. The other stuff helped. Buddy got the same treatment but he wasn't nearly as passive. He has these long, delicate little deer-legs and he finds the bath tub a slippery place. He fell down once and I felt so bad for him! Klutz. The bathroom was a total disaster area, especially after Buddy panicked, jumped out of the tub and shook, spraying peroxide-baking soda-soap mixture everywhere, making a towel fall into the bucket of peroxide mixture, making me lunge for it and at the same time making me drop the shower hose, making water spray EVERYWHERE, making me scream for Kevin and in general, making the night suck just that much more. It also made me get a nice bumpy peroxide rash on my leg for a while, but it's gone now. Hey, why is my skin all white there? Hmm.

My entire house smells horrid. We have bowls of coffee grounds everywhere, and some of vinegar too. I keep spraying Oust air cleaner but it's no match. The dogs smell much better but not 100%. It is way past my bedtime.

BUT: On the plus side I think the smell killed all the fruit flies.