mr. monkeybottoms (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mrmonkeybottoms) wrote,@ 2007-10-15 22:46:00 |
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Tonight, on a very special update from mr. monkeybottoms...
Hi suckers! How have you all been? I've been massively busy and feel kinda bad for neglecting you so much lately. Or do I??? Yeah, I do. Kinda.
Ok, so what is new? I have SO MUCH to tell. Hmmm. Oh, I know, I have a new job! Yes, I left my office. I didn't have all that many tales to tell you about my office, but my new job involves me working in a large Canadian bookstore that I shall not name by name but let's just call it...Lisa S. No wait, that's too obvious. L. Simpson. There are lots of people coming in and this means I now have lots and lots and LOTS of stories to tell you. Whoot! Stories! And I get to work with Kyle and his girlfriend Rachel! Whoot! Kyle and Rachel! Good times.
My job involves me walking around the store and being my usual awesome self and helping people find their books and so forth. How can this go wrong, you say. Here's an example:
It is the end of my shift on a Friday, the end of my first week. A young man, about 19-20ish, comes up to me and asks for the music section. The entire right side of his face is covered in a massive purple bruise that wraps down to his chin and half of his upper lip, which is noticably swollen. As I lead him to the section I think to myself, "Self." I say, "Self, you need to work on your walk-and-talk skills. Make small talk." So I turn to him, motion towards my own face in example and ask, "So what happened?" I get ready to hear an exciting tale of fighting. Perhaps with roundhouse kicks to the face.
The man is visibly unhappy with me. "It's a birthmark." Sullen.
Yikes. I nod. "Ah." Save this conversation! my brain shrieks. I blink. "...do you get asked that alot?" is what I come up with. Smooth. I mean, c'mon! It's not like he isn't USED to the birthmark.
He scowls. "No." Short and unimpressed. Well, there is no saving this NOW.
I shrug and grin. "So. Just me then? Excellent." And I lead him to his book, hand it to him, and call it a day.
Tomorrow: How I learned to read what people are searching for on the store's computers before I asked if they needed any help.
Hi suckers! How have you all been? I've been massively busy and feel kinda bad for neglecting you so much lately. Or do I??? Yeah, I do. Kinda.
Ok, so what is new? I have SO MUCH to tell. Hmmm. Oh, I know, I have a new job! Yes, I left my office. I didn't have all that many tales to tell you about my office, but my new job involves me working in a large Canadian bookstore that I shall not name by name but let's just call it...Lisa S. No wait, that's too obvious. L. Simpson. There are lots of people coming in and this means I now have lots and lots and LOTS of stories to tell you. Whoot! Stories! And I get to work with Kyle and his girlfriend Rachel! Whoot! Kyle and Rachel! Good times.
My job involves me walking around the store and being my usual awesome self and helping people find their books and so forth. How can this go wrong, you say. Here's an example:
It is the end of my shift on a Friday, the end of my first week. A young man, about 19-20ish, comes up to me and asks for the music section. The entire right side of his face is covered in a massive purple bruise that wraps down to his chin and half of his upper lip, which is noticably swollen. As I lead him to the section I think to myself, "Self." I say, "Self, you need to work on your walk-and-talk skills. Make small talk." So I turn to him, motion towards my own face in example and ask, "So what happened?" I get ready to hear an exciting tale of fighting. Perhaps with roundhouse kicks to the face.
The man is visibly unhappy with me. "It's a birthmark." Sullen.
Yikes. I nod. "Ah." Save this conversation! my brain shrieks. I blink. "...do you get asked that alot?" is what I come up with. Smooth. I mean, c'mon! It's not like he isn't USED to the birthmark.
He scowls. "No." Short and unimpressed. Well, there is no saving this NOW.
I shrug and grin. "So. Just me then? Excellent." And I lead him to his book, hand it to him, and call it a day.
Tomorrow: How I learned to read what people are searching for on the store's computers before I asked if they needed any help.
