The other night Kevin and I were watching TV...as we do pretty much every night. We are very exciting people. I was flipping the channels and came across the movie 'Youngblood" starring Rob Lowe, Cynthia Gibb, Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves in a tiny role as the french Canadian goalie.

KEV: Have you seen this movie?
ME: Yes, but it was a long time ago; I can barely remember anything.  I see Rob has returned home from playing hockey.
KEV: Yes, to the family farm.

The farm is colourless, depressing, rundown and full of dilapidated cars and trucks.

ME: What do they grow on this farm? Broken dreams?Junkyard cars? Cliches?
KEV: Youngblood's brother is angry with him.
ME: Let me guess..he used to play hockey and 'he could have made it' but then he got injured?
KEV: Yep.
ME: Is he going to give him the, "I'd do anything to play hockey and you walked away from it all" speech?
KEV: Yep.

*Angry, good looking farmer brother yells at Rob Lowe*

ME: How's he hurt?
KEV: He lost an eye.
ME: I see that they are so poor that they couldn't afford an eye that matches his original one.
KEV: He whittled it out of a potato.


I then laughed so hard I fell out of my chair. I am a simple sort.

Later, Youngblood goes to visit Patrick Swayze in the hospital. He's been hurt by the evil bully in the last game.

ME: Why is he shirtless in the hospital bed?
KEV: Maybe it is very cold in his room.
ME: "Oh, don't make me laugh, Youngblood..it hurts to laugh!"
(Patrick proceeds to laugh at something Rob says and winces, coughing gently)
ME: Heh heh.

The other night after dinner the family was arguing about who would get the extra leftover chocolate chocolate chip muffins. Kev, D1, B1 and B2 all had one already, but there were still 2 left over from he 6 pack I'd gotten from the store.

KEV: Well, there are 2 left so I get them.
ME: Um, no.
D1: Dad and I should get them!
ME: How is this fair? B1 and B2 will split one and D1 and Dad will split one. I'm low carbing anyways.
KEV: *mutters* I just would have bought 12 instead of 6.
ME: How would that have helped??? You still would have to share.
D1: *shouts*UM...12 divided by 4 equals 3!!! GOD!
ME: Ohhh. Right. SHUT UP.
KEV: That is such classic monkey. Classic.

And then they all shook their heads at me while I laughed and laughed until I cried and my stomach hurt.

THEN, last night Kev was on his laptop while we were watching TV. "Would you like the computer?" he asked nicely, handing it over. I said yes, eagerly and when I got it into my hands and looked at it THE EXORCIST WAS ON AND THE EVIL GIRL WAS SPINNING HER HEAD AND LOOKING AT ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN. F-ing YouTube! I was so freaked out that I screeched and closed the laptop and that made me extra sad because then we always lose the wireless for 15 minutes. But, you know what made the the saddest? Watching the evil girl spin her head and grin at me! Just thinking about it freaks me out.

Finally, today:

KEV: I sent you some emails. *hands me his laptop*
ME: Ohhhh! *pause* Wait...am I going to be frightened?
KEV: *laughs* No. Wait...maybe.
ME: Oh god.

It turned out to be three naked pictures of Chloe Sevigny. I despise her milksop fugly face so much. I'd love to make the joke that seeing her furry bunnyhole was scarier than the Devil but nothing is scarier than the Devil.

P.S. It was -40 this morning, without the windchill. LAME.